Porn is love you can see.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
