his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
