eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize