So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
