dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
