There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
