We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i believe in u and ur pee
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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