he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize