Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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