he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
