Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
