And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
