why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
