He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
