Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize