it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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