Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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