So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
