But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
