doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
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its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
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It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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