The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
