I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
