holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize