so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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