i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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