do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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