one two three fourrrrnication!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
