We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
