It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
