birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
