Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
