im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
