i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
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You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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