I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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