My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
