i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
so much tequila, so little girl.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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