so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
