so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
