i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
