she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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