she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize