I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
