either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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