whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Randomize
