I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize