I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
