we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
