So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
