Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
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If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
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low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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