Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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