nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
