you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i drank out of a bidet.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
