I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
