Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
