dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
