How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
