It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
