she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
