Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
