I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
