They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
