It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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