I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
