But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
