she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he shaved USA in his pubs
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
