that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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