i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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